The First Roadblock

My sophomore year was all pretty much the same. After first term, I never sat by Jane again and we would talk every once in a while, but we didn't ever really hang out or talk for very long. I had a little bit of a crush on her, but there were plenty of cute girls in high school, and I never thought to much about it. Even if I had wanted to pursue a more direct course with Jane, though, a new roadblock emerged about halfway through my sophomore year. Grant was the second of my friends to fall for Jane (I guess technically, I was second, but when I look back at my feelings, I think I still just had a mini-crush on her at that time, so I don't count that). When Grant told me that he liked her, I was a little upset at first, but decided that I didn't really have a chance anyway so I might as well support him. Eventually that set a precedent that began to tear me apart the more I followed it.

Grant and I personality-wise are in someways polar opposites, but in terms of interests and experiences, we're practically twins. More to the point, both Grant and I are hopeless romantics who - apparently foolishly - think that just being a nice guy will get you the girl in the end. We share many of the same ups and down when it comes to that other gender, and for a while, I guess, we shared the same girl. That spring, Grant, a budding musician, wrote a few songs, one of which was about Jane. It had some sappy moments in it like any good love song, but overall I really liked it. One night, Jane approached me after hearing the song and asked me if Grant's song was "just a song". The worried look on her face pretty much revealed what she hoped the answer would be. Once again I was in an uncomfortable situation, the discomfort only exacerbated by the fact that I kind of liked her too. I think I came up with the best answer I could at the time, a truthful and unassuming, "I think he might kind of like you, but its just a song".

I'm not really sure what happened after that, but soon after Grant and Jane became just friends, and Grant still raves about how great it is to be just friends with her. So even though my first roadblock was fairly short and inconsequential, I knew there would be more ahead. The next one was summer, because I still hadn't established much of a rapport with her or her friends, and I knew that we wouldn't be hanging out. While many of my thoughts still lingered on Jane, there was another girl I often thought of that summer. American Studies had introduced me to yet another girl, Kristen. She had flown under the radar for all of junior high, and I knew I had stumbled upon a gold mine. It turned out I was correct, too correct sadly, and Kristen came back her Junior year, stunning every one with her lavish beauty, and - before I could make a move - found a football player boyfriend. Thus, I entered my Junior year with Jane merely lingering in my thoughts, with hopes of finding some girl more attainable to chase after.